Buckin' Up

So today is like THE day all race fans dream about since the last race of the season..... the DAYTONA 500!! We get pretty excited about this 'round these parts. Did I fail to mention that Ima small town, country girl?! Well I am. I was raised on racing and enjoy it more than most women, even men.

We are kicking off the 2014 NASCAR season with a parrr-taaayy! While I am also excited as all get out, I am also dreading it too. I absolutely DESPISE it when I feel like this. It is like I am completely and utterly torn in half. I am super excited for the race and to mingle with other adults, but I also feel like I should just stay home and not go. There is going to be ALL bad food there, OTHER THAN what I am bringing. And I will be honest, it is the hardest thing to turn down that kind of food at this point in my journey. I get so mad at myself, because honestly, why am I experiencing this much anxiety over FOOD?

The other issue is seeing people that I haven't saw since I had a baby basically, maybe even before that. I feel soo down and out about my self image, that I honestly just want to stay home and not have to face them. I am embarrassed about myself. I can no longer hide behind a sweatshirt and feel ok. I always think that they are secertly saying "OMG! She still hasn't lost the baby weight, and the baby is almost 1!" Or "Wow she is a bigg girl!" Stupid right?! I know. Because when I look at people, I don't see their weight, I see them as a person. So what makes me think that they see me for my extra LBs that I am carrying?

So this is my game plan:
1. I am going to go anyways! I am buckin' up to this issue and not let it get in the way of life anymore. This is going to give me motivation to keep going. What I am doing is slowly working. The weight is slowly coming off. My confidence is slowly starting to come back.  I think that if I put myself out there it is going to drive me to work HARDER and make SMARTER decisions.

2.  I can not let food and other people's opinions take my life over. We are only on the beautiful planet for so long. Why run and hide from making memories that could last a lifetime with friends?

3.  I am bringing homemade hummus and fresh vegetables. At least there will be ONE healthy option.

4.  I am going to eat before I go over to the party. That way I am not going on an empty stomach and letting my taste buds and my lack of willpower get the best of me.

Decent game plan I think that I have if I say so myself. :)

I can not wait for the day that I look back and read this and it is all just a faint memory. Feeling like this is awful, I do not wish it on my worst enemy. I need to come right back to this very feeling every single time I want to cave and dig into a pie or cupcakes, or when I am eating simply because I am bored, or out of pure emotion.

I will conquer and come out on top! I am determined! I am capable! I deserve this!
(how's that for affirmations?!) 

Can't forget the..... 
BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY!! LET'S GO RACIN'!!! 

What do you do when you have to go to an event that doesn't have much healthy (if any) food?

XOXO