Motivation

Awww! I feel like this is the same song and dance that I dance to ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!! NO motivation. It is a viscous, terrible, absolute hardest circle that I have EVER had to KEEP pulling myself from. Some days it feels like I will NEVER make it to the healthy point. It seems soo far out of reach, then I just turn around and literally kill all of the hard work that took me WEEKS to take off. Then can you guess what I do then? Yup... eat even MORE out of emotion because I am soo down on myself for it.

But, this is where I think that I stand as of now. I have the winter blues, seasonal depression, cabin fever, whatever you call it. But that bug has bit me HARD! I live here in the great state of Michigan, and this has been a BRUTALLLLL winter. Like never ending! So cold that when you go outside and your nose hairs literally freeze. You have to let your car warm up (if it starts because it is too dang cold) for at least 15 mins for it to even warm up slightly. It forces you to stay inside. Then, after looking at the same four dang stupid walls, you go stir crazy. The only thing to do is cook and EAT. I eat even when I am not hungry. I eat just for SOMETHING to do. Then when I am done guess what I do. NOTHING. I sit my behind right on down. Over eating + no exercise = WEIGHT GAIN. HELLO NIKKI! THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE! So the question is WHYYY do I do this to myself?! Can you answer that for me please, because I have not a SLIGHTEST clue!

So, turning all this negative junk around to a little motivation!

Gonna try this today!

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Seriously! I wished I would have got this weight control under control such a long time ago.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sooo I so would've posted more inspiration crap but I have literally wasted about 40 mins of my time trying  to post more pics. Every single time I put in the http:// it gave me an error message. So I say the heck with it!! I did just look through my -weight loss- board on Pinterest and found lots of great inspiration that I had pinned from previous attempts. Check it HERE

Have a great weekend!! Stay warm if you are anywhere near the midwest/east coast.

XOXO

Made it!

Wheew! Made it through another Monday! Even though I stay home with my beautiful girls I still get the case of the Monday's. It is the day that I try and catch up on everything that I wasn't able to get to throughout the weekend. Monday is also the day that I sit down and make the grocery list out for Tuesday.

Speaking of groceries, I made a menu of 30 days of dinners! This is one of the best things that I have done! Seriously! Do you know how much stinkin' time I have wasted thinking, "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what should we have for dinner?" This is ALWAYS my husband's response, "I don't care." Thank you, thank you very much for that help Mr. Jonny boy! Ohh... I can't forget to mention my oldest response, "ICE CREAMMM!" Shoooot, only in my dreams is ice cream a healthy meal option. I bet it is in heaven! And I also bet that you can eat whatever the crap you want and not gain a pound. :)

So are ya wondering how I made that 30 day meal plan? Well wouldn'tcha know that I got a little inspiration from the mom/wife of like all time, Ms. Julie!! You can check out her blog here. Trust me, this is such a time saver. I can not tell you how luxurious it has been to KNOW what is for dinner. Usually before we were stuck on the same rotation of the same stuff. Not anymore! My husband even likes it this way. He will look at the week ahead and even pull out chicken or whatever out of the freezer to help prepare :) So I guess that makes up for not giving any meal ideas.

You are probably thinking, well it takes forever to do a weeks worth of meals so a month worth has to be LOTS longer. But, Julie over at Batcho's Family Adventures has the best strategy going. So here is the secret each day of the week is a "theme," for example, Monday is breakfast, Tuesday is crockpot, Wednesday is mexican etc. Then you just fill in meals for each theme. BOOM!

Now go to Julie's blog and get some more inspiration :)


XOXO

   

Buckin' Up

So today is like THE day all race fans dream about since the last race of the season..... the DAYTONA 500!! We get pretty excited about this 'round these parts. Did I fail to mention that Ima small town, country girl?! Well I am. I was raised on racing and enjoy it more than most women, even men.

We are kicking off the 2014 NASCAR season with a parrr-taaayy! While I am also excited as all get out, I am also dreading it too. I absolutely DESPISE it when I feel like this. It is like I am completely and utterly torn in half. I am super excited for the race and to mingle with other adults, but I also feel like I should just stay home and not go. There is going to be ALL bad food there, OTHER THAN what I am bringing. And I will be honest, it is the hardest thing to turn down that kind of food at this point in my journey. I get so mad at myself, because honestly, why am I experiencing this much anxiety over FOOD?

The other issue is seeing people that I haven't saw since I had a baby basically, maybe even before that. I feel soo down and out about my self image, that I honestly just want to stay home and not have to face them. I am embarrassed about myself. I can no longer hide behind a sweatshirt and feel ok. I always think that they are secertly saying "OMG! She still hasn't lost the baby weight, and the baby is almost 1!" Or "Wow she is a bigg girl!" Stupid right?! I know. Because when I look at people, I don't see their weight, I see them as a person. So what makes me think that they see me for my extra LBs that I am carrying?

So this is my game plan:
1. I am going to go anyways! I am buckin' up to this issue and not let it get in the way of life anymore. This is going to give me motivation to keep going. What I am doing is slowly working. The weight is slowly coming off. My confidence is slowly starting to come back.  I think that if I put myself out there it is going to drive me to work HARDER and make SMARTER decisions.

2.  I can not let food and other people's opinions take my life over. We are only on the beautiful planet for so long. Why run and hide from making memories that could last a lifetime with friends?

3.  I am bringing homemade hummus and fresh vegetables. At least there will be ONE healthy option.

4.  I am going to eat before I go over to the party. That way I am not going on an empty stomach and letting my taste buds and my lack of willpower get the best of me.

Decent game plan I think that I have if I say so myself. :)

I can not wait for the day that I look back and read this and it is all just a faint memory. Feeling like this is awful, I do not wish it on my worst enemy. I need to come right back to this very feeling every single time I want to cave and dig into a pie or cupcakes, or when I am eating simply because I am bored, or out of pure emotion.

I will conquer and come out on top! I am determined! I am capable! I deserve this!
(how's that for affirmations?!) 

Can't forget the..... 
BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY!! LET'S GO RACIN'!!! 

What do you do when you have to go to an event that doesn't have much healthy (if any) food?

XOXO 

A little gun shy I suppose

I started this blog in the beginning of the year and made 1 post. ONE post people! What the heck am I doing? I feel very vulnerable putting my journey on a platform for everyone to read. But ya know what, if you are not doing something that scares the crap out of you, you're not really changing. That's what I keep telling myself anyways.

So here it goes!

I started this weight loss journey (AGAIN) the beginning of the year. I literally would look at myself in pictures and be DISGUSTED! It was as if I didn't know who that was. I don't know who I became. Before kids and marriage I worked, very hard and enjoyed spending time with family and friends and actually being a responsible adult. I have always had the weight battle. I do not think that's going to ever ever end. But, looking at those pictures, I honestly don't know who it was that I was looking at. She looked uncomfortable in her own skin, she looked lost, she looked guarded, sad, and ready to hid behind a big ol tree. I sit back and try to reflect on how I got here so that I can make the RIGHT changes. Sure you can diet and lose the weight, but if you are not FIXING the internal problem, you will just find yourself right back to square one! Which, I have done more times than I can count.

I know that I have put myself and my marriage on the complete back burner when I had kids. After gaining weight with the first baby it really did some good damage to my self confidence and it was almost immediately I put up a wall. One day I found myself calling out for help from a dark hole and then I started to pull myself out by making more time for ME, and my husband, and focused more on me and getting healthy. It was almost like the difference I felt was night and day. I remember thinking that the time we spent away from our daughter then (of course was never more than a night) was having an amazing impact. I felt like I was something MORE than a mommy, and the cleaner of the house, and the folder and put awayer of the laundry. I was being ME, the me that I have seemed to have left behind. The me before my I was so lucky to be blessed with my sweet daughter Ali. I also made it a focus to start to lose the weight, so once I actually stepped out of mommy mode and became me again, I started to get comments on my weight loss. THAT IS THE MOST GRATIFYING AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO KEEP GOING! So I did. Sure I had my days or even weeks when somehow lots and lots chocolate would find itself in my mouth. But I believe that I was a down a total of 21 lbs or something. Which was just a chip off the iceburg. I still had lots to go. Then..... dun da dunnnn.... I found out I was pregnant again!!! I literally stopped nursing my 1st baby and less than 3 months later I was pregnant!! Annnd I found myself right back in that same cycle. When you read this, please do not get this confused, I LOOVVVE MY GIRLS MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF! I would NOT change a single thing, ever, ever, ever! I do not despise them or anything like that. My little family is my whole entire world! I am now coming off of nursing my littlest one and I am using my family as my inspiration to get healthy, once and for all!

So my new years resolutions are these:
1. Make time to be an adult with and without my husband.
2. Weight loss - 60 lbs this year
3. RUN! I want to be one of those people you see out running, and ...gasp.... actually liking it!
4. Fix up this dang ol house to put on the market for next year.
5. Celebrate life more. It's the small things really.
6. Help and inspire others to become the best they can be.

I have more, I am sure I do. I need to start making lists. Maybe that should have been on the new years resolution :)

I want to hear from ya, what are your struggles? What is your new years resolutions and have you been working on them?!?

XO
Moma Born