I started this blog in the beginning of the year and made 1 post. ONE post people! What the heck am I doing? I feel very vulnerable putting my journey on a platform for everyone to read. But ya know what, if you are not doing something that scares the crap out of you, you're not really changing. That's what I keep telling myself anyways.
So here it goes!
I started this weight loss journey (AGAIN) the beginning of the year. I literally would look at myself in pictures and be DISGUSTED! It was as if I didn't know who that was. I don't know who I became. Before kids and marriage I worked, very hard and enjoyed spending time with family and friends and actually being a responsible adult. I have always had the weight battle. I do not think that's going to ever ever end. But, looking at those pictures, I honestly don't know who it was that I was looking at. She looked uncomfortable in her own skin, she looked lost, she looked guarded, sad, and ready to hid behind a big ol tree. I sit back and try to reflect on how I got here so that I can make the RIGHT changes. Sure you can diet and lose the weight, but if you are not FIXING the internal problem, you will just find yourself right back to square one! Which, I have done more times than I can count.
I know that I have put myself and my marriage on the complete back burner when I had kids. After gaining weight with the first baby it really did some good damage to my self confidence and it was almost immediately I put up a wall. One day I found myself calling out for help from a dark hole and then I started to pull myself out by making more time for ME, and my husband, and focused more on me and getting healthy. It was almost like the difference I felt was night and day. I remember thinking that the time we spent away from our daughter then (of course was never more than a night) was having an amazing impact. I felt like I was something MORE than a mommy, and the cleaner of the house, and the folder and put awayer of the laundry. I was being ME, the me that I have seemed to have left behind. The me before my I was so lucky to be blessed with my sweet daughter Ali. I also made it a focus to start to lose the weight, so once I actually stepped out of mommy mode and became me again, I started to get comments on my weight loss. THAT IS THE MOST GRATIFYING AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO KEEP GOING! So I did. Sure I had my days or even weeks when somehow lots and lots chocolate would find itself in my mouth. But I believe that I was a down a total of 21 lbs or something. Which was just a chip off the iceburg. I still had lots to go. Then..... dun da dunnnn.... I found out I was pregnant again!!! I literally stopped nursing my 1st baby and less than 3 months later I was pregnant!! Annnd I found myself right back in that same cycle. When you read this, please do not get this confused, I LOOVVVE MY GIRLS MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF! I would NOT change a single thing, ever, ever, ever! I do not despise them or anything like that. My little family is my whole entire world! I am now coming off of nursing my littlest one and I am using my family as my inspiration to get healthy, once and for all!
So my new years resolutions are these:
1. Make time to be an adult with and without my husband.
2. Weight loss - 60 lbs this year
3. RUN! I want to be one of those people you see out running, and ...gasp.... actually liking it!
4. Fix up this dang ol house to put on the market for next year.
5. Celebrate life more. It's the small things really.
6. Help and inspire others to become the best they can be.
I have more, I am sure I do. I need to start making lists. Maybe that should have been on the new years resolution :)
I want to hear from ya, what are your struggles? What is your new years resolutions and have you been working on them?!?
XO
Moma Born
No comments:
Post a Comment